The real world

Today was the day where you celebrate memorial day which has no meaning to me what so ever but in a way I brought irony in my life eating at a Mexican restaurant called taco tote which is as close as you can get to eating Mexican food in America which is great! Hard to find those in the real sense. As far as the real world I have brought to conclusion by a break at sun splash which makes my life even more fun and exciting because I haven't had this much fun in forrrrrrever! In fact I thank memorial day to give me this day off from the real world of job and to create money for school. The entire getting paid for staying in school is a hard concept for me to understand  I am working for hard labor to live in world with the real intention of "dog eat dog world" Its not as easy I thought it would be to work at a hotel which is crazy to understand but the fact that people want to stay in a hotel for a night because they have no where else to go is an understanding but if one little thing goes wrong the people who stay in a room get upset which makes sense because I would understand your tired and don't want to deal with all these problems such as a loud conditioner sound keeping you up at night and all you want is to rest. I definitely understand that but what I don't understand the people want something perfect in their room because not everything is going well which makes perfectly no sense because the rate they are given for a hotel is to the extreme as cheap as they get and even if it is prepaid and they still demand a better service at the rate they are asking. All due with respect I am getting paid and should treat them with Curtice because its not my stay it is theirs and they are willing to give the money and time to stay at the hotel that has given me the real world or understand how paying off bills and loans and oh on top of that I need to pay for tithing. IN a final conclusion the real world brought me open doors to find an internship in my real life career in fashion which will put a foot in the door or a big step into my real world fantasy.

Balcony Dream

Most often we all most likely have no control over our dreams but we do have thoughts that seemed to performed that we do put in mind of many times and if we like it we run it over and over in our own minds. There is this one dream I've ran over my mind all the time and I am not the type that plans ahead all the time such when girls dream about there own wedding dress or even what their own children's names are going to be. Well I never got to that stage in my life as a girl because I wanted to be a hard worker in college and to possibly go on a mission if I don't get married within the timing but most likely that is unanswered( knowing my friends would all say that are LDS you are going to get married soon). In my case I don't I will get married soon but as far as I thought in my love life I have always had the dream of how I would get proposed to by my own meaning of what I would love. I've always dreamed that this guy would always be at my balcony in the back of my house and company watching the sunrise because my side doesn't get the sunset but anyway just do that a couple times together to enjoy the fresh air near the winter time. As we both hold each other in each others arms and kiss we decide to start off the day having a breakfast or something sweet that a couple would do and then inside our way the window we both fall on the ground into my room laughing at how clumsy we both fell on the ground from my window and we both have our eyes meet and kiss kindly as that person gently backs away and says marry me in surprise I smile and say "yes" with excitement and start kissing him and then he pulls out the ring and we both enjoy our own engagement. This is the only simple idea I put together in my mind if only guys were smart enough to think the most simple but spontaneous things are what makes a relationship even better.(not trying to make men do what they don't want to do but at least give them the sense they have the security as having a man card to make the move which makes you a great man) The balcony dream only is a dream and will never be more.

The Chruch Boy

Cant seem to keep the feeling contained that there is butterflys in my own stomach and this eagerness waiting for this church boy to speak to me again. In surpirse I had gotten out of my own classroom to take the tv away from my little sunbeams thinking I will never out a movie on for them due to thinking a tv would give attention to little children... Well apparently it didnt work for 3 year olds that had the attention span for 7 minutes at least to watch a video when in fact the video is 25 minutes long. In thought thinking if the room was filled with children thinking I need to head home to my sick father I saw the church boy.... Imagine my surprise due to thinking about him coming up to my classroom to speak with me but he had no reason to because my entire family wasnt in church but I. In shock I knew it was fate telling me to speak with him, the thought of him near made me happy to the extreame that I even forgot to speak in clear words around him but ramble on about how is he? Or how in the heck we bumped into each other? was he trying to find me in my own classroom? But of corse his excuse was he had to go near the bishops office to go set appart his own brother for a calling although chruch had not ended yet. He being the gentlemen watching me try to pull the lug of a TV across the hall way he helped me pull it all the way due to seeing my tiredness or maybe it was because he felt so bad that my father had been in the hospital lately after I had a talk to my bishop about coming over this afternoon to speak to mine own father. I could hardly combine words in my own thoughts together. The church boy had tried speaking to me and wanted to talk to me even more as I wanted to with him but never asked whats wrong with my father. He probably knew I didnt like to speak of it. He told me more about himself than I talked about myself which gave me comfort because he knows what kind of person I am when I listen to what others have to say besides me talking all the time in my stupid rambling. My love life has came to conculsion for the day that church boy maybe shy and not take a step up for making moves but he does take a step up to keep me around in his life and to around in mine which is what I need form the chruch boy who fills my heart. In fact I fear this church boy will empty mine own heart because he seems to share his own with me. How the chruch boy makes me happy with the simplisity of kindness.

The one man in my life

Its odd to know that you are only 18 years old and are still living with your parents after a year of college are very slim as thru mine own eyes. In fact its helpful with not having heavy down payments as it is... However  the family I live with has come to some sort of problems when it comes to house payments going up, It makes things even more difficult when a father like mine is sick and has gone to the hospital already 3 times and has been visited by the fire department. This week he has been on and off with work which will be a problem within our 4 family because we are dependant with that one man in our life. It has become a difficulty to handle the situation because as a daughter of his own I fall under the eldest and haven't been close to him as a daughter because in our society of a house we grew up with the mother being the nurturer and the father as the house worker provider. In this situation it may seem the only man in the house hold is only loved for the money but THAT is NOT the case. I love him dearly.. the past week has been difficult to see him thru his downs mostly. as a daughter I never have seen my young father at the age of 43 ask me to call the ambulance thinking he might have heart attack is frightening. In time to time I wonder if this one man with be cured by all these blessing he has been receiving in his life?  I always know when things are going to be alright but in this heart of mine I have no feeling of that whats so ever. Today he had been sitting outside in the front of the house and told my mother " you know Ana, I have never felt peace watching TV as much as sitting outside near nature." The one man in my life gives me comfort and will always.

Hes not just that in to you

Last night I had a friend ask me if I was in a realitionship with the same guy that left to new york and would come baack during the fall when school would start back up. Yes I am dying on the inside to say that I still like him soooooooo much and for some reason in my gut I always know when things tend to not go the way I usually plan I give up because then I know it wont work. For instense this guy is all the way in new york probably partying every night with his old buddys while I am working hard for the real world to pay off for school thinking about him from time to time and NOT one text from him or even a facebook message. World what is wrong with this picture???( dont answer because I know) I know what the world thinks in this situation! Move on girl stop thinking about this horrible guy that has no interest in you and deffinitely will only be there to take what you have for him and nothing more than that because he will never return to you what you will ever want from the beginning when he was trying to get your attention to date him and have you lach on to his buckle while he moves on to the next girl to lach as myself. In this case I never fall for guys different from me but I thought why not hes probably different from many guys I've dated and will probably have more interest than the others and give much effort as I do on the other side gender. And here they come the words I deffinitely hate to hear but in most cases its true " He is just not that into you"